September 20th Fast

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JMJ

 "When the Christian religion is reflected and repudiated, marriage sinks of necessity into the slavery of man's vicious nature and vile passions, and finds but little protection in the help of natural goodness. A very torrent of evil has flowed from this source, not only into private families, but also into States. For, the salutary fear of God being removed, and there being no longer that refreshment in toil which is nowhere more abounding than in the Christian religion, it very often happens, as indeed is natural, that the mutual services and duties of marriage seem almost unbearable; and thus very many yearn for the loosening of the tie which they believe to be woven by human law and of their own will, whenever incompatibility of temper, or quarrels, or the violation of the marriage vow, or mutual consent, or other reasons induce them to think that it would be well to be set free."

(Pope Leo XIII, Arcanum, On Christian Marriage, 1880)

In today's secularly suffocating atmosphere, it is easy to forget that marriage is a vocation, not a lifestyle choice.  Yes, it is a natural calling, but a calling all the same.  A woman is called by God to be a wife and mother; a man is called by God to be a husband and father.  They are chosen for one another, and they give their assent to His proposal.

But with a mind burdened by earthly cares and anxieties it oftentimes happens that one fails to remember this.  A culture of no-fault divorce and militant secularism invites him to believe that he has chosen this life.  He is tempted to conform his situation to his wants and likes, rather than conforming himself to God's plan in His marriage.  He resents the sacrifices he is constantly asked to make, and neglects to place His trust in God.  Yet though his heart may have first drawn him to family life,  God was the one who stirred it.  

Our Father in Heaven has such great love for us, such an unimaginable desire for us to be happy with Him,  that He specifically chose us for our particular vocation. We must have confidence in the call He sent, and have courage to accept the refinement that our souls will pass through because of it.  When the marital vocation is seen as the the divine call it is, one can learn to be "refreshed in the toil" of his labors, rather than feeling burdened by the drudgery of his duties.  

"If, then, we consider the end of the divine institution of marriage, we shall see very clearly that God intended it to be a most fruitful source of individual benefit and of public welfare, Not only, in strict truth, was marriage instituted for the propagation of the human race, but also that the lives of husbands and wives might be made better and happier. This comes about in many ways: by their lightening each other's burdens through mutual help; by constant and faithful love; by having all their possessions in common; and by the heavenly grace which flows from the sacrament. Marriage also can do much for the good of families, for, so long as it is conformable to nature and in accordance with the counsels of God, it has power to strengthen union of heart in the parents; to secure the holy education of children; to temper the authority of the father by the example of the divine authority; to render children obedient to their parents. . ."  (Pope Leo XIII, Arcanum, 1880)

September 13th Fast

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JMJ

"On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples.  When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine."  And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come."  His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."  Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons.  Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water." And they filled them up to the brim.  He said to them, "Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast." So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."  This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him. " (Jn. 2:1-12)

Married couples should take great solace in that Christ performed His first miracle at a celebration of the marital covenant.  As God the Father ordained the union of man and woman at the beginning of time, so God the Son sanctified their union at the new beginning in the re-established order of grace.

The exhaustion of the wine supply should be a familiar quandary to those in the marital or religious vocation.  There are periods in life when one is literally spent: his energy lost, his zeal wavering, his perseverance nowhere to be found, and his courage empty.  But, he must take heart!  It is in those moments of discouragement and fatigue that we must turn to our Mother and she, seeing our needs, turns to her Son and says," they have no more wine."  When we come to Him in humility, and say, "Lord, I have nothing left" then God looks down upon us with His tender heart, and mercifully grants us the graces we need to go forward.  Our thirsting souls and weary hearts hear the precious words that will guide and comfort us, "Do whatever He tells you."  And when we do thus, Christ fills us anew with His bountiful gifts.

This childlike trust in Him, to fill our jars when they are found wanting takes great faith and dependence on God.  In his recent encyclical, Lumen Fidei, Pope Francis said:

"Faith is no refuge for the fainthearted, but something which enhances our lives. It makes us aware of a magnificent calling, the vocation of love. It assures us that this love is trustworthy and worth embracing, for it is based on God’s faithfulness which is stronger than our every weakness." (No. 53)

 In humbly recognizing our weaknesses and inadequacies we acknowledge Christ's strength to overcome them.  St. Ignatius Loyola wrote a beautiful and simple prayer to reflect this:

"Lord Jesus Christ, take all my freedom, my memory, my understanding, and my will.  All that I have and cherish you have given me.  I surrender it all to be guided by your will.  Your grace and your love are wealth enough for me.  Give me these, Lord Jesus, and I ask for nothing more.

We must turn to Him, asking Him to pattern our hearts after His selfless, generous, patient, and merciful Sacred Heart.  In this way, our love for one another will grow and our a vocation will bear fruit even in the midst of trial and exhaustion.  When a couple's love is founded in His, formed by His, strengthened by His, and directed at ultimately attaining His, then it will fulfill and sustain them.

September 6th Fast

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JMJ

"And they said to Him, 'The disciples of John fast often and offer prayers, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours eat and drink.  And Jesus said to them,' Can make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them and then they will fast in those days." (Lk. 5:33-35)

There is no question that we live in a time of great turmoil and seemingly unparalleled vice.  Seen and unseen forces aggressively erode the foundation of society: marriage and man's dignity as a child of God.  And so, our greatest recourse is prayer and fasting.  If one is to call himself a Christian, desiring salvation for himself, his family, the world, these means are not an option, they are a necessity. If one were a commander, sending his soldiers into battle, would he send them without a helmet, without a sword, allow them to stand defenseless before a powerful foe?  This certainly would be absurd, but how often do we enter the battle or place our spouses, children, friends, relations in an untenable position by refusing ourselves the means to combat the evil forces and temptations that lie in wait?

An army does not build it self up in one night and so too, we can not fortify ourselves or others in one day.  It must be done deliberately and slowly, consistently and frequently.  Denial of self must be a daily discipline, and in this way it will become a habitual practice.  Are these not what the virtues are, simply good habits practiced and performed?  And God, in His goodness, offers many opportunities to sacrifice each day, even asking us to sacrifice choosing what we sacrifice.  St. Francis de Sales says:

""It is, I believe, a greater virtue to eat without preference what is put before you and in the order it is put before you, whether you like it or dislike it, than always to choose the worst.  Although this latter way of life seems more austere, the former demands more resignation for by it we renounce not only our taste but our choice as well."

We are aware that in heaven the angels and saints live in perfect accordance with God's will.  And so, if we are to desire that perfect beatitude we must too learn resignation, even and especially when we sacrifice and fast.  Pride cannot enter into fasting or prayer less its efficaciousness is lost.  Saint Francis de Sales later says:  

"So also, to be cured of our vices, it is good indeed to mortify the flesh but it is still more necessary to cleanse our affections and purge our hearts." 

So then, let us resolve to persevere in prayer, to make courageous small sacrificial acts, and so do as St. Paul says in his Letter to the Ephesians:

"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (Eph. 6:11)

August 30th Fast

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JMJ

"The second creation account emphasizes that both sexes are necessary for God's plan.  Having created Adam, God says, 'It is not good for the man to be alone' (GN 2:18). So God creates a helpmate who is suitable for him and matches him. 'Helpmate' (ezer) is a word reserved in the Bible not for inferiors but most often for God Himself, who is Israel's 'helper'.  Indeed, after God creates all of the animals and brings them to Adam to name, it becomes clear that none of them is the 'suitable partner for man'.(Gn. 2:20)" 

("Love and Life in the Divine Plan," Pastoral Letter of the USCCB, November, 2009)

 In the play, "The Jeweler's Shop" written by Father Karoly Wojtyla, when one of the characters proposes to his fiancé he asks her to be "his helpmate".   Christian couples know that they are meant to help one another get to heaven, but often forget the small ways this can be done everyday.  Spouses are meant to live their lives in unity, not just physically, but spiritually and materially.  Material, not in the secular sense, but in the practical everyday sense.  Because of secular pressures to redefine marriage and gender roles, Christians can be tempted to push back against this tide by rigidly defining the duties of a husband and wife: the wife is solely relegated to all things related to the home, and the husband solely relegated to all things related to outside of it.  

As life gets busier and more children come, there is a tendency to dig in further so as not to upset the balance between home and work life.  Pride prevents each spouse from sharing concerns, decisions or responsibilities because each believes he must do it alone and not burden the other with a load in addition to his present duties.  But this is where unintended error, and subsequent resentment can occur.  Burdens pile up, and resentment creeps in, to the point that when help is finally asked for, it is done in a rude manner, and the other spouse, with sincere ignorance, is left only to feel guilty because he was unaware of the challenges the other was facing alone.  We strive to mirror the courage and industry of the saints, but an important part of this must be to remember that the saints, above all, had humility.  Our Lord, Himself, modeled this perfectly as He did not shoulder the burden of the cross alone, but rather humbly accepted the assistance of Simon of Cyrene.  We must, too, humbly ask the assistance of our helpmate.  By refusing to do so, we not only commit the sin of pride, but we also deprive the other of an occasion of charity, not allowing them the opportunity to grow in holiness themselves.

There was once a player who was extremely distraught after missing the game-winning shot.  Thinking himself solely responsible for the loss of the game, the coach said to him: "If you had made the shot, would you have thought that you alone were the reason the team won?" After replying in the negative, the coach then replied, "And so why would you think that by missing it, you alone are the reason the team lost?" So too, we can not expect to win the game by ourselves; we must rely on God's grace and others to gain eternal happiness in heaven, and lasting peace for our families on earth.

August 16th Fast

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JMJ

"Thus it is not enough to give to everyone who asks; I must even anticipate their desires, appear to be very much obliged and honored to render service, and if anyone takes something which is for my use, I must not appear sorry about this but happy at being relieved of it. . . I am very far from practicing what I understand, and still the desire alone I have of doing it gives me peace."  (Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, Story of a Soul)

It may appear that it would take a lifetime to know the needs of another.  Perhaps this is true in the sense that no one but God Himself has full knowledge of any one man.  Yet, most would admit that they can quickly discern the needs of their spouse; what does not come so easily is to yield one's own will in order to fulfill those needs.  When one enters into a loving relationship, he desires to determine the necessary actions to make the other happy.  Once this is accomplished, he sets about doing it; unfortunately, he discovers along the way that these actions are not without cost.  He realizes he will have to make payments out of those reserves that are so very dear to him: his time, his energy, his emotional and physical needs.  

Through experience he understands that marriage is not a contract, a quid pro quo, where one exchanges goods evenly and fairly; instead, it is a covenant where lives are pledged, and souls are bound. Rather than waiting for a request, or a need to arise, one learns to anticipate the other's desire and, even if it is with difficulty, gladly fulfills it.  A man does not give because he will receive in return; in fact, he knows that his goal must be to give without any gain to himself.  And yet, as Saint Thérèse notes:

"Oh yes! The reward is great, even on this earth; in this way it is only the first step that costs anything.  To lend without hoping for anything appears to be difficult to nature; one would prefer to give, for a thing given no longer belongs to one."

The reward that one gains from this complete gift of self is the peace that presides in his marriage and family.  It is an arduous road to trod, the path of self-denial, but it is the straight and narrow way which brings tranquility and joy to the home.