"The second creation account emphasizes that both sexes are necessary for God's plan. Having created Adam, God says, 'It is not good for the man to be alone' (GN 2:18). So God creates a helpmate who is suitable for him and matches him. 'Helpmate' (ezer) is a word reserved in the Bible not for inferiors but most often for God Himself, who is Israel's 'helper'. Indeed, after God creates all of the animals and brings them to Adam to name, it becomes clear that none of them is the 'suitable partner for man'.(Gn. 2:20)"
In the play, "The Jeweler's Shop" written by Father Karoly Wojtyla, when one of the characters proposes to his fiancé he asks her to be "his helpmate". Christian couples know that they are meant to help one another get to heaven, but often forget the small ways this can be done everyday. Spouses are meant to live their lives in unity, not just physically, but spiritually and materially. Material, not in the secular sense, but in the practical everyday sense. Because of secular pressures to redefine marriage and gender roles, Christians can be tempted to push back against this tide by rigidly defining the duties of a husband and wife: the wife is solely relegated to all things related to the home, and the husband solely relegated to all things related to outside of it.("Love and Life in the Divine Plan," Pastoral Letter of the USCCB, November, 2009)
As life gets busier and more children come, there is a tendency to dig in further so as not to upset the balance between home and work life. Pride prevents each spouse from sharing concerns, decisions or responsibilities because each believes he must do it alone and not burden the other with a load in addition to his present duties. But this is where unintended error, and subsequent resentment can occur. Burdens pile up, and resentment creeps in, to the point that when help is finally asked for, it is done in a rude manner, and the other spouse, with sincere ignorance, is left only to feel guilty because he was unaware of the challenges the other was facing alone. We strive to mirror the courage and industry of the saints, but an important part of this must be to remember that the saints, above all, had humility. Our Lord, Himself, modeled this perfectly as He did not shoulder the burden of the cross alone, but rather humbly accepted the assistance of Simon of Cyrene. We must, too, humbly ask the assistance of our helpmate. By refusing to do so, we not only commit the sin of pride, but we also deprive the other of an occasion of charity, not allowing them the opportunity to grow in holiness themselves.
There was once a player who was extremely distraught after missing the game-winning shot. Thinking himself solely responsible for the loss of the game, the coach said to him: "If you had made the shot, would you have thought that you alone were the reason the team won?" After replying in the negative, the coach then replied, "And so why would you think that by missing it, you alone are the reason the team lost?" So too, we can not expect to win the game by ourselves; we must rely on God's grace and others to gain eternal happiness in heaven, and lasting peace for our families on earth.