August 16th Fast

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JMJ

"Thus it is not enough to give to everyone who asks; I must even anticipate their desires, appear to be very much obliged and honored to render service, and if anyone takes something which is for my use, I must not appear sorry about this but happy at being relieved of it. . . I am very far from practicing what I understand, and still the desire alone I have of doing it gives me peace."  (Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, Story of a Soul)

It may appear that it would take a lifetime to know the needs of another.  Perhaps this is true in the sense that no one but God Himself has full knowledge of any one man.  Yet, most would admit that they can quickly discern the needs of their spouse; what does not come so easily is to yield one's own will in order to fulfill those needs.  When one enters into a loving relationship, he desires to determine the necessary actions to make the other happy.  Once this is accomplished, he sets about doing it; unfortunately, he discovers along the way that these actions are not without cost.  He realizes he will have to make payments out of those reserves that are so very dear to him: his time, his energy, his emotional and physical needs.  

Through experience he understands that marriage is not a contract, a quid pro quo, where one exchanges goods evenly and fairly; instead, it is a covenant where lives are pledged, and souls are bound. Rather than waiting for a request, or a need to arise, one learns to anticipate the other's desire and, even if it is with difficulty, gladly fulfills it.  A man does not give because he will receive in return; in fact, he knows that his goal must be to give without any gain to himself.  And yet, as Saint Thérèse notes:

"Oh yes! The reward is great, even on this earth; in this way it is only the first step that costs anything.  To lend without hoping for anything appears to be difficult to nature; one would prefer to give, for a thing given no longer belongs to one."

The reward that one gains from this complete gift of self is the peace that presides in his marriage and family.  It is an arduous road to trod, the path of self-denial, but it is the straight and narrow way which brings tranquility and joy to the home.