December 1st Fast

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JMJ

"Night was falling as they passed within the walls, but there was light enough to see that it was full, full to overflowing.  The better sort had long ago secured all that was to be had in the way of lodging. Poor people like themselves had little chance. Joseph searched diligently everywhere, but to no purpose.  Wherever he saw a door open he hastened towards it; he pointed to Mary and held out his hand with the few coins he had left. But all in vain; everywhere the same answer: 'No room.'

Up and down the streets they wandered that bitter night. No one would take her in. Joseph's tearful eyes looked up into her face. She was utterly worn out, but the smile on her lips told of a peace within that no trouble this world could disturb. What was he to do? It was no use trying anymore. He brushed his sleeve across his eyes and led the ass carefully down the hill again." (Jesus of Nazareth, Mother Mary Loyola)

It is easy to confuse our assumptions about God's will with His actual will for us when it involves an intrinsic good.  One has firm trust in Divine Providence but cannot help clinging to the permanent portrait of what he conceives that to be.  One's faith extends only halfway, for it trusts in God's Providence but not that His grace will be sufficient if His Plan does not align with his own. 

The search for lodging by St. Joseph reveals the Holy Family's model of resignation to God's will.  He knows he cannot provide a fitting place for the Holy Child to be born, and this he humbly accepts, but surely some small comforts, such as protection from the piercing cold, could be found for his beloved wife, and her Son?  Yet, he does not clamor all the more when his will is rejected with each innkeeper's rude slam of the door; instead, he, once more humbly accepts the divine will that God will provide but according to His plan.

In this technological world, the increased capability to control and know things easily threatens to weaken our trust in God's Divine Providence.  One either hesitates to commit because of numerous unknowable variables or is frustrated by unforeseen circumstances. The saints displayed heroic virtue because there is great valiance in accepting the unexpected will of God.  

November 3rd Fast

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JMJ

"Jesus wants me to tell you again, how much love He has for each of you- beyond all you can imagine.  I worry some of you still have not really met Jesus- one on one- you and Jesus alone.  We may spend time in the chapel- but have you seen with the eyes of your soul how He looks on you with love? Do you really know the living Jesus- not from books but from being with Him in your heart? Have you heard the loving words He speaks to you? Ask for the grace; He is longing to give it. . . . 

How can we last even one day without hearing Jesus say "I love you"- impossible. . . Our soul needs that as much as the body needs air. . . Not only that He loves you, but even more- He longs for you. He misses you when you don't come close.  He thirsts for you. . . .My children, you don't have to be different for Jesus to love you. Only believe- You are precious to Him.  Bring all you are suffering to His feet- only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are. He will do the rest.  (St. Teresa of Kolkata)

In the parable of the Prodigal Son, one is always struck by the mercy of the father.  Yet more than his generous acts of forgiveness, the deep desire of the father for his son, revealed through the constant vigil he keeps, should gladden the hearts of all who hear.  Exhausted by the trials of life and consumed by endless tasks, one may easily forget the eager gaze of the Beloved, patiently waiting to be turned to.  One may suffer neglect, rejection, humiliation, or ingratitude by those he strives to please; his heart cries out in vain for human approbation and consolation but none does he receive.  It is then, that he must remember that there is One who sees, One who understands, One Who loves him so intimately that He is thirsting for him:

"He loves you always, even when you don't feel worthy. When not accepted by others- even by yourself sometimes- He is the one who always accepts you." (ibid)

Our Lord is not a stern judge who hands down arbitrary sentences for past transgressions; He is not a lofty personage, intimate with a chosen few, and distant from most.  No, Christ's love for us is ardent, and consuming: He loves us in loneliness, sorrow, frustration, rejection, confusion.  Too easily one can dismiss the ache in his heart for Him.  Awaken the dormant desire; spend time in front of the Sacrament of Love, pour forth your troubles, and receive the peace you seek.