June 14th Fast

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JMJ

"The first condition of harmony between husband and wife and of consequent domestic peace is a constant good will on both sides. . . Thus you will learn the sweetness of harmony between husband and wife. 'With three things,' says the Holy Book, 'my spirit is pleased, which are approved before God and men: the concord of brethren, the love of neighbors, and man and wife that agree well together' (Eccl. 25:1-2) Surely, dear newlyweds, with every means at your disposal you will protect this precious harmony against the perils of internal and external dissension - two perils above all: suspicions too quickly aroused and resentments too slowly allayed."  (Pope Pius XII Address to Newlyweds, November 22, 1939)

 The Father of Lies is also the sower of disorder.  God, our Father, created an ordered world, one where harmony reigned and unity of purpose pervaded.  The devil introduced discord and confusion, and he seeks to do this in the souls of men, in the place where God continues His creative actions: the domestic church.  Just as the marital embrace must be a unitive act with nothing to impede its natural harmony so must the daily lives of a couple be as one with no resentful thoughts or selfish acts that place obstacles in the way of harmony.  Their goals should be unitive and not separate; their salvation was forever linked on their wedding day, and every day after that they must draw closer together to attain it as one.

What does it mean to approach each situation, each disagreement with a "constant good will"? It means to desire to preserve peace rather than to preserve pride.  One must not just have good intention, but good will, a determination to do good for the other.  Be decisive in your love, be decisive in your growth of virtue.  Do not say, "I wish I was more patient, more generous, etc."  No, we must renounce our selfish spirit and ask Christ for His selfless spirit.

We must not yield to the disruptions of the devil, who actively seeks to upset harmonious living.  It is he who sows the seeds of discord and distrust in our hearts.  He plays upon our fatigue and whispers to us to be resentful of our duties, and suspicious of others' motives.  The devil is devious and deceptively tempts us in spiritual terms so we are unaware his subtle snares.  We come to think that only we are working for our salvation, only we have the family's interest at heart, only we suffer, only we sacrifice. A spouse may unknowingly begin to separate from the other because of the pervasive pride of his heart.  He sets himself up in a superior position, and his self-righteousness impedes unity.

A spouse must trust that the other has the same goals for the marriage and family: eternal salvation.  One must thrust away petty suspicions and turn aside cynical assumptions, and cloak himself with confidence and trust.  A couple must communicate with one another in a confident manner, confident that there is unity of purpose.   And then, there must be patience and perseverance to reach understandings to achieve this.  Trust builds upon trust and peace cannot be obtained without it.