July 7th Fast

 +JMJ

“There are many persons very dear to my Heart, but the moment I saw this blessed sun this Morning (with Kit  in my arms) dear Rebecca came at once in my thoughts, and if there had been a wish to name, it would have been to have you with me. .. You well know how much I value your Society and affection but we are not always to have what we like best in this world, thank Heaven! For if we had, how soon we should forget the other ,-the place of endless Peace, where they who were united by Virtue and affection here, will surely enjoy that union so often interrupted while on their journey Home.” 

(St. Elizabeth Ann Seton writing to her sister-in-law and dear friend, Rebecca Seton)

There has been much focus on how the current culture devalues the love of a man and woman, but a still greater depreciation has been the false idea of the love of friends. This latter is the more significant travesty because friendship is the basis of the strong marriage and a close relationship with Our Dear Lord.

A good friend, is not just someone who is seen often or whose circumstances are a reflection of one's own. Though it is common to meet a close friend through shared experiences, this does not comprise the entirety of the relationship. According to Aristotle in Book VIII of his Nichomachean Ethics:

"Perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in virtue; for these wish well alike to each other. . .now those who wish well to their friends for their sake are mostly true friends; for they do this by reason of own nature and not incidentally; therefore their friendship lasts as long as they are good—and goodness is an enduring thing." 

This type of friendship is unusual because of the high demands it places on man's character. Even Aristotle pessimistically admitted that it is "natural that such friendships should be infrequent; for such men are rare." A close friendship requires discernment, vulnerability, sacrifice and patience.

Discernment is vital to determine if the fellowship of the other is enjoyable and edifying. Longing for love and attachment, it is tempting to settle for less worthy companions just for the sake of avoiding solitude. Yet friendship depends on the confident independence of each and will never thrive if one party is insecure, possessive or manipulative. Prudence will be rewarded to those who patiently wait to find friends that lighten the heart with a joyful spirit and strengthen the will by a virtuous example.

Forming strong friendships requires vulnerability, which must begin with intentionality. One must bravely seek out others, despite the fear of rejection.  Our Lord commanded his disciples to go out into the world, not to shore up in a hole and hope someone would find them.  

Now, being vulnerable does not mean being imprudently impulsive. Sharing too much and too soon often leads to regret. Yet two can never hope to be equals if only one unlocks his door while the other firmly leaves his barred. Otherwise, insecurity and superiority replace empathy and consolation. The word vulnerable comes from the Latin root,"vulnus" meaning wound. Like an open wound which is grafted upon to create a new and stronger foundation, only a friendship that allows for an openness of heart, a humility of spirit and a willingness to mature, can blossom and grow firm through this grafting of hearts.

Finally, true Christian friendship necessitates sacrifice and patience. The Greek legend of Damon and Pythias illustrates the supreme love of friends when Damon offers to take the condemned place of Pythias so that he can visit his family one last time. When Pythias is considerably delayed Damon is prepared to suffer execution, firmly believing in his friend's fidelity despite Pythias' absence and the subsequent mockery he endures from the cruel Dionysius. At the final moment, Pythias appears and the dictator is so moved that he allows both to be freed.

At first glance, this story appears to highlight the ultimate sacrifice a friend is willing to make, but in truth, it depicts the constancy of a friend who patiently bears another's burden, faithfully sacrificing his freedom for the other.  Sacrificial love in a friendship practices intentional charity that is not convenient or comfortable. Self-interest, envy, judgment and defensiveness are set aside with a discarded ego. In forgetting himself, one discovers the joy of knowing the goodness of the other.  It is a tremendous gift to know and feel the genuine and abiding love and affection of a true sister or brother in Christ. A friendship that is founded and derives its strength from the Source of love, a friendship that seeks to return to that Love, is one of inestimable value.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter:

    he that has found one has found a treasure.

15 

There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend,

    and no scales can measure his excellence.

16 

A faithful friend is an elixir of life;

    and those who fear the Lord will find him.

(Sirach 6:14-16) 

 

June 2nd Fast

 +JMJ

"Consider often that it is only the humble of heart that can enter into the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ. Converse with him. Love Him and be loved by Him." (St. Margaret Mary Alacoque)

June is the month dedicated to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. The Heart of the Savior is the symbol of Jesus' total gift of self, his fathomless mercy and sacrificial love. Devotion to the Sacred Heart is aided by pious practices and worthy traditions but true devotion must consist in an earnest desire to pattern one's whole life on the model of His chosen Master. One who adores this tenderest of Hearts uses the example of Our Dear Lord's self-denying love as his guide in all his daily actions. Learning to reject self-indulgence—be it emotional or physical— he understands that there is no gain in a win for his will, only loss of an opportunity to grow in love. A true disciple of the Sacred Heart welcomes— or at least accepts— opportunities to deny himself a pleasure, be it ever so small. 

The invitation to sacrifice does not appeal to one out of duty or tradition or expectation; rather, the call to give the gift of himself is motivated by a firm decision to love.  Often, it requires acts of the will— devoid of feeling, deprived of consolation,  —but always it is a conscious decision to see others as He sees them, to love others as He loves them. It is the high call to practice charity— despite weariness, ingratitude and indifference— in imitation of Him but also united with Him. How little there is to lose and how much there is to gain when one says no to self and yes to love!

"Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, teach me an entire forgetfulness of myself since that is the only way one can find entrance into you." (St. Claude de la Columbiere)

 

 

May 5th Fast

+JMJ

"We would wish to fall generously, nobly…What an illusion! We would never want to fall? What does it matter, Jesus, if I fall at each moment? It shows me my weakness and for this reason is a great gain for me. It shows you what I am able to do and now you will be more tempted to carry me in your arms." 

(St. Therese)

In the well known play Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw, a common flower girl, Eliza Doolitle, seeks to employ Henry Higgins upon learning that he can help her garner a position selling flowers in a shop rather than hocking them off the street.  Spurned after hearing her "Lisson Grove lingo", Eliza foolishly believes that her conveyance in a taxi will impress Higgins, persuading him that she is a woman of worth and wealth. The reader may smile at the girl's ridiculous reasoning, but also pities her for her ignorance.

How our heavenly Father must look upon man in the same way as one looks at this simple London girl! He observes man trying desperately to impress others with his worth and prowess but only succeeds in displaying the absurdity of his claim.  It is in refusing to recognize his deficiencies that man finds frustration. It it his constant fear of humiliation which depresses and discourages him. 

What an irony it is that the one creature who could have boasted of her perfections, rejoiced in her limitations! Mary, our dearest Mother, shines in her humility as man grovels in his hubris. Yet he need not continue to be thwarted by unrealistic and unattainable ambitions—be they material or spiritual.  Rather, he must not only take Mary as his model, but truly claim her as his helper. For she surely supported St. Joseph in his moments of discouragement when he strove to provide for the Holy Family.  And undoubtedly she encouraged the apostles when they struggled to carry out the task Her Son commissioned them to do.  One can imagine the twelve going to her often, confident that they would find the succor they needed.

But one cannot be lifted up without lowering himself first. If he stubbornly clings to his pride, man only finds misery amidst frustration. But by humbly and realistically acknowledging his inabilities, relinquishing his bloated sense of self and his herculean grip of ego, man lightens his load so much that he becomes like a little one who abandons his toys to be carried and comforted by the mother he loves so dearly.

Good Friday Fast

+JMJ

“Love and sacrifice are closely linked, like the sun and the light. We cannot love without suffering and we cannot suffer without love.” (St. Gianna)

From the time the Passion of Our Lord began in the Garden of Gethsemane, His strength was slowly drained with each new torture: the wounds to the flesh which taxed his vigor; the wounds to the heart which agonized his sensitive soul. Why was it, that if one small drop of the Savior's blood could have redeemed mankind, did he accept the added burdens which made His "soul sorrowful even unto death?" It is because His longing for us is so ardent, His love for us so consuming, that only the gift of His entire being could satisfy His desire.

Though his stamina was strained to its limit, and his heart yearned to be consoled, He did not return insults to those who mocked him—courageously choosing silence—nor spurn those who needed him—giving comfort to the women on the way, providing hope to the penitent thief. He was patient though he was violently abused. He was faithful though He was betrayed. He consoled though he was rejected. He was merciful though now mercy was shown Him.

In carrying the cross, one is tempted to retreat into solitude; resenting requests when his endurance is already spent.  Yet Our Lord tell His disciples,"Take up your cross and follow me." One cannot remain in the same place with his burden. The call is to go forth with the cross; for He expects one to not only carry the load, but to do so while patiently helping others to carry theirs as well.  It is love that allowed Him to persevere and it is love that will allow His disciples to endure as well. Not a passing feeling of passion but an intentional decision of love. A love which girds one's strength allowing him to understand that the extra demands on his soul are necessary to avoid self-pity and prompt a heroic and total gift of self.

                                                    

March 3rd Fast

+JMJ

“The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”  

Pope Benedict XVI

In his letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul wrote,"When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things." Lent offers an opportunity to emerge from childhood and embrace maturity. It is an invitation to detach from the empty pleasures of earth and attach to the hope of heaven. With each penitential season—and really, with each cross— the faithful Christian finds himself in the position of the rich young man in the Gospel who, having affirmed that he kept all the commandments, queries the Lord further as to how he can obtain eternal life:

"And Jesus looking upon him loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” (Mk. 10:11)

God challenges man to sanctity. St. John Paul II often reminded his flock of the demand of the Gospels:

"Do not be satisfied with mediocrity. The kingdom of heaven is for those who are determined to enter it . . . Do not be afraid to be holy! Have the courage and humility to present yourselves to the world determined to be holy, since full, true freedom is born from holiness. "

The world  tempts man not only in the form of pleasures but excuses as well. Man often spends energy seeking reasons to excuse himself from fasting, prayer and the corporal works of mercy rather than preserving his strength to practice the aforementioned disciplines.  

Perhaps the reason that man yields to self-pitying and rationalizing his behavior is because he refuses to acknowledge that His Creator knows him better than he knows himself and so understands what he is truly capable of. Even the saints, had their doubts and fears when faced with an onerous task. Though St. Teresa of Kolkata was fond of saying—"I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."—she humbly accepted her crosses, shouldering through difficult moments, confident that she was "called to be faithful, not successful."

Let this Lent be a time of great trust that God's grace will be sufficient to carry the cross: those crosses that are freely and lovingly chosen and those that must be patiently accepted. Think not of its present burden but of its eternal merit.

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle! Are they not in your book?" (Psalm 56:8)